Fear of failure is one of the most common fears among many. Its foundation lies in deeply convincing that it is wrong to make mistakes and that errors are bad. We all know that the infallible person does not exist and that the mistakes are lessons that we learn, deep down in ourselves, fear of failure we still feel like a stumbling block.
Each of us at some point felt a fear of failure. What if I do not pass the exam, miss the opportunity for a decisive point, leave a bad impression on a job interview, the trip during the presentation or refuse me that girl / guy whom I could hardly raise / la courage to approach?
But when the fear of failure overcome and become so strong that you start hampers the realization of ideas and goals, making you insecure and unmotivated to engage in new challenges?
When we talk about failure, depending on our system of values, experiences, and attitudes it can be defined in different ways. What someone considers as a defeat, for the other may represent a great adventure. Fear of failure is mainly linked with the refusal, lack of confidence, lack of courage, and often perfectionism. Striving for perfection, people often give up attempting to do something to achieve. This may be due to doubts in their own abilities, set high expectations, the pressure of the environment, self-criticism… Sometimes we focus so much on avoiding the fear of failure that becomes stronger than the desire to achieve success. When it seems that the gap between the prospects for achieving goals and opportunities to experience defeat large and intractable, somehow is safer to stay in the comfort zone and away from any chance to experience failure.
How do we know that we have the fear of failure?
Do sometimes happen to you that you work that is put on the agenda persistently refuse to complete, constantly finding new excuses why this has not been done?
Or do you not surprising that every time before you decide to go to your boss to ask for that promotion or bonus you get a headache, you come up for other duties or even become sick?
Maybe in front of the public you appearance panic, wondering what will be, what will your colleagues or audience think? Maybe even hesitate to speak at the meeting in front of that famous people would not “hatched” nonsense?
Fear of failure never comes alone. It is often associated with the fear of our own and of other people’s thinking. Because if we make a mistake, there is perceived a danger that we prove to ourselves and others that we are not good enough, that we are not able, intelligent, worthy of attention, or that we will be embarrassed.
One who has not agreed to look like a fool and embarrass yourself for personal and higher goals, never had he not scored anything big in his life.
If you have aversion to failure so much, that fear becomes irrational and so persistent that it is beginning to hampers, and discourages moving away from dreams, it’s time to stop, loosen gyrus and ask yourself: What will happen if you do not drop everything the way you imagined, that is, if you lose? Are you going to retire, thinking that you’re up to the challenge or you’ll be seen as the failure of a lot of experience and a lesson, which will help you to focus the next time to do something in a different and better way?
And what is it really a failure and why it does not need to be afraid?
We often experience failure too personal. We think that it will mean that we are not good enough as a people that we are not capable of personality that we are coons and because of that the others will not love us or appreciate less. However, if you unleash the failure of all these accompanying emotions and assumptions get simple rational formula which reads as follows:
“Failure means that the method you used does not give the result that you expect.”
And that is all. Failure does not mean that you are incompetent. It just means that the method you used to get the desired result is not adequate to give this result. Do you want a different result, all you need to do is to change the method by which you will get this result.
Here are a few tips on how to do that fear of failure stops sucking the life out of you and becomes your drive for success:
1. Accept yourself
When you fight against something you give it power, and if you try to control your fear you’ll just step it up. Feel your fear close to your eyes and immerse to yourself. Stop judging and start to feel what’s going on in your body and to squander it.
Separate yourselves from what is happening and observe yourself and what you feel. Do you feel heaviness in the stomach, the pressure in the head or elevated pulse? Do this for a minute or two and start with calm acceptance. Slowly you will become dominant and you will throw negativity out. Tell yourself, “This is just my fear of failure,” and you will be able to proceed further.
2. Control your thoughts
We all sometimes have some unusual, completely crazy thoughts that are going through our mind, but most are forgotten because they are strange and do not give them character. Unfortunately, we do not do the same with a little real thought that is not helpful at all.
Next time at an important time you have any other thoughts, but they are not positive, or some useful that will bring you success, just switch to optimism. Do not let his own mind take into dark corners.
Tell yourself “I can do it” and you begin to waver ask yourself “How would I do that?” and insert the brain mode for troubleshooting, allowing you to occupy and divert attention from the bad thoughts.
3. Find your triggers
Are certain situations trigger for your failure? Did checking the Facebook profiles seem you upset because you feel like you are all more successful than you? Do you socialize with certain people makes you a sense of failure?
Find the patterns of what you troubled, and avoid those things. If you could not turn back, slowly try. For example, if a job is a bad influence on you, you need to change it. If you cannot immediately, actively working on finding a new job.
When you take the first step towards the improvement of the situation, you will have the feeling to control the situation, and this will further boost the confidence.
4. Believe in yourself
The only thing you must never allow to happen is to lose faith in yourself. From the starts to the bottom. Pay attention to all the things that you have achieved in life, this year or last week. Remember what is worth. Focus here and now.
Big plans can overwhelm you and to do that you do to yourself is so small and plans unattainable. Go step by step and make sure that you are ready for each.
Get free from any emotions and outlines the rationality, the failure is the simple lesson that tells you where you went wrong and what you can do to fix it, not to get more respect from the others, but so that you may be attained success that you want.
Rational reexamine each of your falls, each of your failure and the fear will disappear by itself.
A side effect of this recipe is that you will for some time in the mirror recognize a different person than the one you have. You will realize that you have become courageous, determined and that in your life you enter all that you have only dreamed of.
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