For every human interaction, communication is essential (transmission of information). It can be verbal (speech) and nonverbal (facial expression, eye contact, posture). Shall we give preference to one or the other and when is the matter of a personal affinity, feeling and the moment in which we find ourselves. In most cases, communication takes place in both ways and they are complement to each other.
Eye contact is one of the forms of non-verbal communication which every individual gives a lot of importance on the basis and it may explain some of the elements of verbal communication. The eyes can detect the slightest changes in the body and in the attitude of other people. Since the most are not aware of it, a skilled interlocutor can easily be guessed what it was. In the eyes, we cannot literally “read” other people’s thoughts, but we have an indication of the feelings of the person with whom we are in contact. These minimal signs of change from moment to moment and everyone can be aware of them if you pay attention to them. Studies have shown that some of the changes are associated with our unconscious and that we can always recognize them, such as changing the size of the pupil indicating the interest of interlocutors, distractions associated with changing the focus of attention, as well as eye contact, which also, may indicate interest, shyness or fearful.
The mirror of the soul
Many times we have heard that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Although we asked why, the first test we realized that in-depth view of our interlocutor points, we can discover much more. For example, the emotions that people feel at a given moment, but in the depths of the eyes can see and lasting emotions that the individual carries, and may not want to share them with the others. In the first months of life, eye contact is one of the most important forms of communication by which a child can read the message sent by his mother. If she is upset and does not know how to calm down when catches eye contact with the mother, the baby becomes calm. Even in the childhood, we learn that eye contact is important and what it hides. As one of the most important forms of communication, it is developing together with our age and represents an essential form of social behavior. Eye contact is important, but do not forget that the only way we will get to know another person, it’s just part of communication.
Eye contact has great influence on the social behavior of the individual. It is not given the same importance in all cultures, religious communities and the different forms of interaction. We know that in some of the nation’s estimated debt of eye contact is rude, in some situations it is not advisable that you look into the eyes of an interlocutor, but to humbly listen and look down. In our culture, eye contact is an important aspect of communication, where the two interlocutors’ occasional glances show respect to one another. Eye contact is different in the partner, friendly and business relations, but also depends on the topics of conversation, whether we listen or talk on the personality traits and experiences.
This is one of the first contacts that has to be established in social relations. When we like someone, we need that person often see and catch her eye. In the first months of love, couples who receive contact, looking at each other, so read the many stories that are hidden deep in the eyes and know the emotions of his partner.
Friends who know each other for a long time can be based on several views to find out what it is advisable to do at a given moment or what their friends think or feel, which means that such a reading of eye contact can learn. When we talk about business relationships, such a form of nonverbal communication is extremely important. Even organize seminars where you learn how to act, where to be seen and how, when we are on a job interview at the meeting, we make an appointment, and so on. Much more we look at someone if we are in the role of a listener than a talker. What is interesting is that when we talk with interested people about important topics with them, we exchange short views in places where we want to emphasize that this aspect is very important. We do not attach importance to eye contact at that moment, but if we communicate with less familiar people or business partners, eye contact is very important to us and we want to be more frequent because on the basis of it can interpret some of the aspects of communication. In this way, we give the impression of the self-confident person who knows what is talking about and who has nothing to hide.
Individuals who avoid eye contact, do it for several reasons: perhaps they are shy or have socially anxious so the eye contact scares them because of their own insecurities and opinions they have about themselves. Also, they may be hiding certain things so in communicating they look away or look down. It is proved that the eye contact can be very positive in the case of agreement with the interlocutor, but when you have different attitudes, contacts of the eyes almost could be seen as aggression or dominant behavior.
Some experts argue that non-verbal communication is especially useful in a job interview. So, imagine a triangle that connects the mouth and the eyes of your interlocutors. And then change the point of reference for every five to ten seconds. And so on. You will leave the impression of an interested and dedicated person in the conversation. A good guideline is to look into the eyes long enough until you determine their color. And then turn a little look and back again.
When the individual comes for an interview with a psychologist or psychotherapist, eye contact is one of the important things. The avoiding of look can tell us his weaknesses on every topic, what does not want to talk about, the things he is ashamed of, does he was hiding something and what are the social contacts. Eye contact is very important to us, so be careful how you look.
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